Dealing With the Death of a Loved One
Responses to the Death of a Loved One
Dealing with the death of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences you may face in your life. After the initial shock and numbness wear off, you may experience some depression. Your emotions may go up and down, but your pain may be there for a long time. Give yourself time to heal slowly – grieving is an important process. It can also be emotionally draining, confusing and sometimes frightening because many people are unfamiliar with death and the impact associated with it.
Grief is a reaction to a significant loss. Most people who have lost a loved one, report going through several stages of grief. These stages vary in length for each individual. Any feelings you have are normal. Remember that the intensity of these feelings will not last forever.
The “impact stage,” involving shock, disbelief and denial, is the first stage. You may feel numb, paralyzed, confused or helpless. It is too soon to accept the depth of your loss.
Next, the reality of your loss begins to sink in. This can be very upsetting. You may feel overwhelmed by guilt, anger and/or depression. You may feel vulnerable. You might find yourself directing anger at the nearest person, whether appropriate or not.
Your mind may wander, making it difficult to read, write or make decisions. Sleep can be difficult, leaving you tired and less able to deal with everyday matters. You’re eating habits may change. You may also be more susceptible to minor aches and illnesses. You may have an irresistible urge to get away, a fear or dread of being alone or a heightened fear of danger.
Remember that any or all of these feelings/reactions are normal and that they will not last forever. These stages can be experienced in any order, and also over and over again. Most individuals will move beyond this stage of anger and depression into the acceptance or recovery stage with time. This does not mean that you will forget your loved one or that the pain disappears completely. But you do slowly heal and start to break the strong emotional ties with the past and focus on the present and future. You become aware of sources of strength within yourself and decide to move on with your life.